Can jewelry save a marriage? Ashley Madison scandal turned into a marketing game for jewelers.
You might have heard of the infamous hack of Ashley Madison. Soon after, CNBC and so many other news sites have been reporting about how this might have sparked a booming business for the jewelry business. But can jewelry save a marriage?
Jewelry has always been linked to lovers. Jewelry is there to mark important steps in a relationship. Think of an engagement, a wedding and all other moments of a loving relationship that people care to commemorate with a piece of jewelry. In movies, it’s been kind of a popular thing too. Something happens to a couple; ...the man apologizes with buying the woman a piece of jewelry. Well, you know how it usually goes!.... And wanderlust has often been compromised with lots of jewelry by the wealthier amongst us. Although our vision on this has been formed definitely a lot by any kind of media, there is some truth in it. It does happen and I have seen it with my own eyes, when I ran a jewelry store myself.
But can it save a marriage? Opulent Jewelers cleverly used the hack as a marketing trick and offered a special entrance and code to buy jewelry with a discount. This discount was aimed at the people who's name had been revealed during the hack and the publishing of all the names. The strayers, the cheaters, the wanderlusting lot...Other companies too claimed to have sold more jewelry over the past weeks. Perhaps a coincidence. Perhaps not.
Whatever the motives of the *cheaters on Ashley Madison* were; perhaps they were really looking around, or perhaps they just liked to see who they could get. Maybe it was just a (stupid but nevertheless) game to numb pain and boredom. It had consequences for many of them, whatever the reason was, it hurt their loved ones and I am sure that for many of them, that was never what they wished for.
People do a lot of things to gain pleasure or to avoid pain. It seems to be one of our primal motivations to do things in life. Avoiding pain may often consist in indulging in shopping, binge watch tv-series, eating too much, the list is endless. The fact that we have internet access almost everywhere on so many devices, makes it very easy and tempting to check our status on Facebook or whatever platform you love, constantly. It is also extremely easy to surf to one of these dating websites and it can become addictive as much as the binge watching of Friends or Modern Family, or shopping (thanks to the internet, that now too is possible at every hour of the day) and check how many people checked us out. The attention can be exciting, especially to those who love that thrill! It is an immidiate ego-booster.
Whatever the reason for wanderlust is, it can certainly not be repaired with a gift….not even with the most wonderful piece of jewelry. Of course not. And personally, I see it as a smart marketing move of some jewelers, but a painful underestimating the intelligence and feelings of the people involved. In fact, it could well end up Faith Popcorn’s Sh** brands say (marketing mistakes made by brands that are totally wrong and rejected by the Millenials) Ps. Faith was also part of my inspiration for this blog.
If not with jewelry….then what?
I heard this incredible Ted Talk by Esther Perel. It actually inspired me to write this blog.
She does not like to think that black and white, which is so easily done in the media and let’s face it, by a large number of the public too. She even claims that staying in a relationship after one of the partners strayed, is the new shame. And this is a pity. Most people will stay in their relationships, after one of the partners has been straying. But they can’t talk about it with others, their staying and fighting for their marriage is easily taken for weakness. Now here is the thing: straying is easy (and so are opinions about it). But maintaining a relationship or a marriage, is a much more difficult challenge in life. People should not shame but applaud couples that remain together after a difficult period. Whether that period is wanderlust, illness, money problems and so on and so forth. Esther Perel is an expert on the matter and she has written books and has become an expert on couples therapy.
Esther talks about how couples will have to deal with really talking to each other. Allowing the hurt partner to express their pain. It takes two to tango and often this is also true for problems within a relationship. So before you judge…..Watch what you have, cherish what is good and you won’t need to patch things with jewelry or other stuff ;-) .
If one of you haven't been straying, but you know definitely all the struggles of a longterm relationship, then you might find it silly, but it will bring you both something: commemorate steps together. Celebrate the little things in life. Gift each other something cute, meaningful or even just playful, from time to time.
To me, there seems to be a stunning opportunity to celebrate, in an intimate way, the recovery of a marriage or a relationship. Something two people create together. A second chapter. Deeper and more honest perhaps. And this new era could be definitely celebrated with an exchange of jewelry! Emotions add value to jewelry and equally true: jewelry creates a tangible memory of an emotion.